Why We Don’t Celebrate Our Anniversary Anymore?
It’s seems like there is a epidemic of forgetting anniversary.
My friend and her husband have a problem some of you may sympathize with. Last week was their fourteenth anniversary, and they didn’t do anything. They acknowledged what day it was; doing nothing more. She hates that they don’t celebrate their anniversary anymore. She doesn’t think Thomas would have noticed what day it was if it wasn’t for her reminding him! How sad is that? I wish there was something they could do to make the day more special, but maybe after thirteen years it just doesn’t matter anymore.
For the rest of the day, after she told him what day it was, he told her it was nice and if they should do something special. Why not dinner at that Italian place, she suggested; he complied but he was just being polite. In the end they didn’t go because, well, what’s the point? It bothers her that they don’t celebrate this day. And if I am honest it would bother me too. I know it’s just like any other day, but shouldn’t anniversaries be important? It’s important to everyone else, and, honestly, it’s important to me too. I love thinking of how long they’ve soldiered through this world together and the beautiful children they’ve made.
She has told me:
“After the day was over, I set an alert in his phone to remind him to plan something for next year, but I’m conflicted. As much as I want to treat the day as a special occasion, if it’s a workday we probably won’t do anything since we’re always too tired after we put the kids to bed and I want him to want to do something without me telling him to! Sometimes, I think it’s okay that we don’t celebrate it every year. For the first ten years, we celebrated every year with a dinner, or simply by spending the day together.
One time, we took a day off from both our jobs so we could continue the tradition. Then, a few years ago, we just didn’t do anything. We had to take our son to the emergency room because he stuck a macaroni up his nose and we couldn’t get it out. We were there for hours and didn’t feel like doing anything when we got home. The year after, he was on a business trip so we couldn’t do our traditional celebration of spending time together. We tried Skyping, but the WiFi at his hotel was next to nothing, so that didn’t work well either. It was decided we would celebrate when he got back, but it kept getting pushed off. You know how it is, things pile up and it’s always tomorrow, next weekend, next month; until a year passes and you realise that you never celebrated.”
Afterwards, I think he just got used to it. Last year, the day passed without a second thought. He never brought it up. It wasn’t until she told him that he acknowledged it. Maybe it’s not important to celebrate their anniversary every year. Next year is their fifteenth, hopefully they can find a way to make time to reignite their tradition. And hopefully next year will be something to remind him…. 😉