He Is Seeking Attention Somewhere Else
It breaks my heart to even think that but it’s time to face up to the truth. He’s been seeking attention elsewhere and it seems to be making him happier than I’ve seen him in a long time. The most painful part of it is feeling powerless but knowing I’ve had so much to do with driving him to the arms of another woman. Well, not literally but if I don’t stop this then surely they will end up physically supporting each other as well as emotionally.
As happy as he was for me when I started my new job I didn’t envisage it turning out like this but knowing what to do now is the hardest thing. Sure, my job has long hours and I’m trying to get to know everyone in the office. So I have been out for post work drinks a couple of times. He can’t expect me to give that up just so he can feel more secure.
That’s the biggest issue here though isn’t it, the fact that he doesn’t feel secure enough in our relationship. He doesn’t feel like he has enough trust in our relationship. I can’t put my own life on hold purely so he can feel better about himself but going to another woman to feel better about himself is only acting to hurt me in the process. He’s been seeking attention somewhere else. I feel like I’m at the end of my tether and I don’t know how long I can keep going when I see him on his phone all the time and staying out late on nights where he knows I’m home.
I want to be the one who makes him happy!
The hardest thing is seeing how happy this new woman is making him. I know they’re only talking and I trust him to not do anything more than that but when you’re in a relationship with someone you want to be the one that makes them happy. I’m really struggling to get past this and make him remember that we’re in this together and he can talk to me about anything. I know he knows what he’s doing is wrong but I think he’s losing track of how much his actions are hurting me and that is the part that hurts the most. The kind, caring man I once fell in love with has been replaced by someone who is only interested in chasing his own happiness and I wonder how long I will be a part of this lifestyle he’s creating for himself.
We’ve been together for too long for this to be the end but pushing myself to get past what he’s done is difficult. My work is making me happy and I need to let him know that it’s the work that’s doing that, not the people. The only person I need in my life is him and getting him back won’t be easy, but I’ll work until my dying breath to make sure he’s happy.